Uranus squaring my Moon…


Squaring…it sounds like screwing now.

But “what would people say?”. But, “is this the sentence someone would write about this?”. I’d not care if that was true. But I do fucking care. And I need to care not to lose it. Because what if I lose it, what if I will actually express myself? Uncensored. With fucked up punctuation and incorrect grammar and no connection between my words whatsoever.

Just. Uncensored. Free. I typed fee instead of free. They told me nothing is free. Everything has a heeeeeeaaaavy price. And then they grinned and waited. For me to close myself in a box. And silence myself forever.

But they don’t know shit.

Or do they.

I love this life even if it hurts and even though I’m crying now. The words are all the same. We are all the same, don’t you see? Why are you desperately trying to be who you are not?

Because you were silenced. Because you were forced in a uniform and showed in a box. But now, now when you are free, literally in the middle of the human oceanic desert, no one around you, no one to judge, no one to shelf you. Now, be free. Show yourself. Show yourself, uncensored. Raw. Crazy. Irrational. Too rational. Whatevs. Show YOURSELF.

I feel cold. Everything is changing all the time around me. I can tell you how I feel now. But I can’t tell you who I am. The moment I’d do that you’d force me in a mold and lock me up there. Nope, not doing this again. Not playing your stupid game.

I am free. I am learning to be together with myself instead of alone waiting for approval.

We are the same though. So different. Can you see that? Can you live with that? Can you play with that?

Don’t stop. Blow up your mind in beautiful colours.


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